Thursday, August 28, 2008

"A Woman's Right to Shoes" --Sex and the City

This episode of Sex and the City changed my life. It made me realize that I was not crazy. I have long envied "the brides" as they blissfully talked of filling out their wedding registries, while I sat there hoping that I could pull together a gift and still afford my rent, groceries, insurance, utilities, etc.

Then I started to wonder when it would be my turn. What if I never got married, would I never get any gifts despite my substantial financial investment in celebrating my friend's life choices. Yup, I said choices, not accomplishments. This is that sense of entitlement I referred (bridex) have not accomplished anything. You didn't cure cancer, you didn't work hard and win an Olympic medal, you didn't study and earn a degree, hell you didn't even remodel anything, all you did was get some schmuck to agree to spend everyday with you (great for you, but I don't understand how that equates to multiple hundreds of dollars worth of gifts, not to mention time.)

Before "A Woman's Right to Shoes" I kept these feelings and thoughts deep within me in a dark place. A place of resentment and quiet contempt for brides. However, all of that changed when I saw this episode. I felt vindicated and free to feel my emotions.

Ms. Bradshaw:

"Think about it. If you are single, after graduation there isn't one occasion where people celebrate you. ... Hallmark doesn't make a "congratulations, you didn't marry the wrong guy" card. And where's the flatware for going on vacation alone?

I think my favorite part is when Carrie and Charlotte are walking and eating frozen yogurt and Carrie explains that she has probably spent nearly $2300.00 celebrating her particular friend's life choices and how dare that friend make her feel guilty for spending $485.00 on herself.

I think this rang so true for me because I have always lived on a budget, I don't overspend on myself and when I do, it is at most $100.00. But, then to think of all of the money that goes into the "pleasure of being part of someone's special day"...well that figure is a heck of a lot higher than $100.00---even when you are a just a guest and not a bridesmaid.

It makes me really mad. For one full year I would like to just spend my money on me! (xmas and bday gifts are excluded cuz those are reciprocal). I don't have kids or a mortgage or a husband, my money should be my own! (insert huffy hummmmphf here)

I will leave you with this closing remark from my dear Ms. Bradshaw:

"Its really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes--that's why you sometimes need really special shoes!"

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